Church

I haven't been to Catholic church in years. I was raised as a Catholic but the older I got, the more distant that church seemd to me. I started exploring other ways of faith and devotion. I got into spirituality. But I also tried other churches.

One in particular was a gay church. It was non deminational but what was strange was how much like a "regular" church it was. They had their own songs they sang. Everyone knew the words by heart so I gather it was a common ritual to sing theses same songs which were totally foreign to me.

There was a lot of hugging and hand shaking. There really was a sense of community and shared experience.

There were gays of all stripes. Old, young, healthy, dying. It really felt like a community which was great but I was an outsider. I had no idea what these songs or gestures meant - they had no context to a stranger.

That was the last time I was in any kind of a church and I think part of why I never returned to any church was because the overwhelming sense of community was too much for me. It didn't make me crave it for myself, it only made me feel less connected.