The Bhagavad Gita

On the Eternal Godhead:

This supreme Lord who pervades all existence, the true Self of all creatures, may be realized through undivided love.

On Divine Splendor:

Sri Krishna:

All right, Arjuna, I will tell you of my divine powers.

I will mention only the most glorious; for there is no end to them.

I am the true Self in the heart of every creature, Arjuna, and the beginning, middle, and end of their existence.

Among the shining gods, I am Vishnu; of luminaries, I am the sun; among the storm gods I am Marichi; and in the night sky I am the moon.

...

Among the senses I am the mind, and in living beings I am consciousness.

...

Among bodies of water I am the ocean.

...

I was born from the nectar of immortality as the primordial horse and as Indra's noble elephant. Among men, I am the king.

Among weapons, I am the thunderbolt. I am Kamadhuk, the cow that fulfills all desires; I am Kandarpa, the power of sex, and Vasuki, the king of snakes.

...

I am Prahlada, born among the demons, and of all that measures, I am time.

More to come...

chants/kyrie

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti

Om Mane Padme Hum

Om Om Om Asatho Maa Sath Gamaya Thamaso Maa Jyothir Gamaya Mruthyor Maa Amrutham Gamaya

translation:

Om Om Om
Lead me from unreal to Real
Lead me from darkness to Light
Lead me from death to Immortality.

Church

I haven't been to Catholic church in years. I was raised as a Catholic but the older I got, the more distant that church seemd to me. I started exploring other ways of faith and devotion. I got into spirituality. But I also tried other churches.

One in particular was a gay church. It was non deminational but what was strange was how much like a "regular" church it was. They had their own songs they sang. Everyone knew the words by heart so I gather it was a common ritual to sing theses same songs which were totally foreign to me.

There was a lot of hugging and hand shaking. There really was a sense of community and shared experience.

There were gays of all stripes. Old, young, healthy, dying. It really felt like a community which was great but I was an outsider. I had no idea what these songs or gestures meant - they had no context to a stranger.

That was the last time I was in any kind of a church and I think part of why I never returned to any church was because the overwhelming sense of community was too much for me. It didn't make me crave it for myself, it only made me feel less connected.

Sacrifice

animals and humans

entrails

guts on canvas

kisses

guts on canvas

kisses

bowing to the blood

dissolution of the self/ves

orpheus torn limb from limb

a lamb's head floating on a river

dancing/fucking in the guts of a beast

Church - some thoughts

- seeking answers
- feeling alone
- thoughts distracted
- pay attention, “that is what you are supposed to do”
- feeling safety in the melody
- still wanting answers
- stand up, sit down, kneel…
- “what else do I have to do today”
- silence
- No answers…but not so alone.

My Churchy Thoughts

The mass I attended last Sunday evening reminded me unexpectedly of the nondenominational evangelical church that I attended as a child. After letting go of the wave of anger, judgment and sadness that initially hit me, I thought about how the church service I grew up going to was similar to and different from the catholic service.

Similar
- focus on large crowd experience
- set structure that flows from one section to the next
- praise choruses projected onto the wall
- raised hands
- kneeling

Different
- special objects used for worship besides bible
- specific times to kneel and raise hands
- short sermon/homily

I've heard that protestant churches are losing members and that nondenominational evangelical churches are growing. It seems to me that protestant churches are less focused on the crowd experience and more on individual experience of personal faith. I wonder if people are drawn to that group experience in this individualistic society, whereas when the protestant denominations began people were drawn to them because society was more group oriented.
Who knows?

Moments

A few moments and images that inspired me / reminded me of this piece:

- A Japanese drummer poised between strikes on a large drum. There is more tension in the pause, and in the arms, than in any strike.

- A piano line starting so slowly that it is not yet possible to make out a melody - the notes are too far apart.

- A sterile science lab / someone strapped to a chair receiving electric shocks / fucking in the mud / blood on a lab coat / the priest kisses the book / silence / a gesture of blessing / living sacrifice / sharing a cigarette / a gesture of blessing (repeated) / climax / sound from nowhere and all around / a long narrow space / a hidden choir / a vaulted ceiling / and so on.