on random emotion

a wish

“I think there are things that everyone feels at least once every 15 minutes: embarrassment, for example, or humiliation, from no-where, without apparent cause; sudden grief, anxiety, dread, distraction — as though a spirit or monster of some kind had passed overhead; regret, impatience, hatred, and unreasoning rage. It’s not the same for everyone. Some people I know feel none of those things, but instead, every 15 minutes they feel vengeful, jealous — they are immobilized by envy, a longing to possess something or someone, greed, lust, a wish to put something in their mouths." – the quote (Chaiken? Mee?)

i fold you into my mouth

that goes

that leaves

and now i will destroy it all

i can’t help it

it all embarrasses me

and so i’ll fuck it

and mourn it

what?

where was i?

now now now nownownownownownownownownownownow

crash

oops

crash

fleeting

tickle/giggle/fidget and bounce

a blanket of sadness

dropped on me from the gods

from the ghosts of grandmothers and illusions and dead cats

forget it

can i put you in my mouth?

because

cuz

i desire it

drop it

(i can kill you and take all your money)

and hold you tight

just lay on my chest

feel the comfort of heartbeat in your ear pressed to my skin

the weightedness

the love song

loins

don’t look

don’t behold

me

mememememememe

a wish

2.15.10

11:19 am